January in the Desert

Hello readers! I’m sitting on our back patio with a cup of tea, watching Milo play on this beautiful 63-degree January day. If southern California does one thing right, it’s winter. The worst of it is already behind us! Kyle left this morning for the most recent training exercise preceding the deployment. He’ll be gone for the better part of the next month.

I had every intention of saving my chalk paint projects for until after he left. So much for that! I powered through not only refinishing the sofa table from my parents, but also slapping some paint onto the nightstand I scored for $15 online. Sorry some of the photos are a little dark – clearly more lighting should be our next investment! Maybe I’ll repaint the hutch we used to keep our tv in and repurpose it as some kind of storage cabinet in the living room.
Things have been pretty quiet here at the Douet’s lately. Lots of training for the deployment and lots of denial that it’s going to happen. I have started talking to a friend about making a cross-country road trip back home together, which has helped give me something to look forward to. I’ve been trying to line up some kind of work for while I’m home this summer, too. The family I nannied for before we got married has been kind enough to welcome me back for a few weeks while their new nannies take vacation time. I can’t wait to see how the boys have grown and matured. I was also hoping to complete some schooling while home, but now it’s looking as though that may need to wait. It just makes more sense for us to save up right now rather than shell out thousands on classes. So instead I’ll keep busy with work and try to keep thoughts about where Kyle is, babies, and other stresses at bay.

We’re still hoping that God will bless us with a baby someday soon. It’s hard to wait and trust in his plan. Some days it feels like everywhere I look, there’s a new baby, a pregnant mama, or an ultrasound picture posted on social media. I’m happy for all these people – I truly am. Sometimes it just reminds me of the little one we lost. I would be getting pretty close to my due date soon. We would have a nursery instead of a guest room. I know there’s a bigger picture. I know God has a reason for not giving us a child of our own at this point in time. It’s just hard to see so many others welcoming new additions when our arms are empty. We will continue to wait. We will remain hopeful.

To take my mind off things lately, I’ve started watching Fixer Upper on HGTV. Oh boy. I’ve even looked at houses for sale in Louisiana near Kyle’s family. Obviously we’re not seriously considering buying a home in the near future. It’s just fun to look and see what’s out there. I like to imagine what we would do to renovate the house and make it a home. It’s as if Joanna Gaines is sitting on my shoulder, whispering in my ear. Kyle’s lucky I’m stuck here in Cali. Tell me this house isn’t just begging to be renovated?! Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, huge porch, and hardwood floors. I’m in love. It’s only forty-five minutes from his hometown, too. Oh, if only we had an extra $80,000 laying around…

Someday we’ll get to turn an old house into the home we’ve always dreamed of. Someday. Until then, military housing will have to do.

We have a couple things to look forward to in the next several months. A friend from home is coming to visit, my parents are coming to visit, and we’re going to Louisiana to visit. Until then, I’ll be blogging, watching HGTV, and driving Milo insane with a gross amount of hugs and snuggles.

Ta-ta for now, lovelies!

 

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Countdown to D-Day

The beast has reared its ugly head. It’s time to talk about the ten-letter word every military family dreads: deployment. Predeployment training will be soon upon us, followed up by predeployment leave. Then, the white buses will come and take away my husband. We’ve only been in our home here for just over four months. Our time at MCAGCC Twentynine Palms has flown by so far. I’m fully aware of how quickly the next few months will pass us by as well.

We’re making the most of our time together. Even so, I’m starting to feel the sadness creep in. Some nights when we’re watching Netflix, I’ll snuggle just a little closer because the voice inside my head reminds me I’ll be spending my evenings alone soon enough. Some mornings, I wake up next to him and try not to think about how cold his side of the bed will be in a few months. Most days I’m okay. I don’t think about it. Today is not one of those days.

Today, Kyle is at work. I’m in a quiet house, on a quiet street, on the quiet end of base. Milo is sleeping in the other room. Dinner is in the crockpot. The laundry is drying. I’ve already cleaned the floors and dusted. There’s nothing left to do but sit here and think about this deployment.

What will I put on my deployment bucket list? What care packages will I send? How many letters will I write? Should I go back home? If so, for how long? Where can I find a job? Will Kyle be able to call me? Will we be able to video chat? What will his homecoming be like? Should I order a banner? Should I make a big sign? Questions, upon questions, upon questions…I could go on forever.

So today I’m letting myself think about it and obsess over it. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I won’t be sad. For now, I’ll be on Pinterest working on my ‘Deployment’ and ‘Homecoming’ boards. Tomorrow I’ll be better.

Goodbye, 2015!

Hello readers! It’s been a while and for that I apologize. Kyle and I had a pretty crazy holiday this year. Our Christmas and New Year’s were jam packed, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Here are the highlights of our first very ‘married’ Christmas season…

We were able to fly home and spend the week of Christmas with my family together for the very first time. We usually don’t get to see each other until just after Christmas in Louisiana. It was so wonderful having Kyle there to participate in and experience our family’s traditions this year. I think our favorite gift would have to be the camera my parents generously got for us. Now we can document our married life with something a tad more advanced than our iPhone cameras!

We were able to spend some time with our nephew and godson, Paulie. He has grown so much since we last saw him in July. He is the most beautiful baby boy I think I have ever seen. His laugh is contagious and his smile will melt your heart. I think one of my most treasured moments from our trip would have to be holding him on the couch on Christmas night. He was exhausted, but trying to stay awake to watch the train go around the tree. He would put his little hands around my neck and rest his head on my chest for a few seconds, then sit up again. Living across the country from him for the majority of his first year of life has been and continues to be extremely challenging. However, I do think it helps me to truly cherish the time I am able to spend with him.

We were able to see several friends while we were home. Everyone seems so happy and healthy! New dogs, loving their jobs, new relationships, and awesome life changes…I couldn’t be happier for them all!

We were also able to attend midnight mass at a gorgeous chapel in Harrisburg. Kyle’s brother Keith, the best man in our wedding, sang in the choir during the Latin mass. It was a truly beautiful way to mark the birth of Christ. It was wonderful to stop and take time to remember the reason for the season.

One part of this holiday season that I could have lived without would have to be the stomach bug that hit Kyle, Mom, Anna, Aunt Bee, Paul, Steven, and Nanny. Admittedly not the best way to end Christmas. Poor Kyle always seems to get sick right around this time of year!

I have my driver’s permit now, in case you haven’t heard! When we flew home, we flew out of Vegas. I drove half the way there, as well as half the way back. I may or may not have killed a rabbit coming home…but other than that, it was an uneventful driving experience! I just have to schedule my driver’s test and get myself my very own California license! Wish me luck and pray that any and all rabbits stay clear of our vehicle.

We were also fortunate enough to spend New Year’s Eve amongst friends. We hosted a little get-together at our house. We had snacks, drinks, and played games. I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. It was a little strange watching the ball drop at nine o’clock…

I was also lucky enough to see an old friend from home. Hannah came out and visited for a few days with us. We went whale watching, explored Laguna Beach tide pools, and toured the Living Desert Zoo in Palm Springs. It was great hearing about her recent travels and reconnecting with her. I hope we have even more visitors in 2016!

I have a few resolutions this year. I would like to read more, drink more water, be more active, lose some serious weight, get through this deployment in one piece, train Milo well, get my license, pay off our credit card debt…I could go on all day. The point is, I am hoping to start and finish 2016 with my best foot forward. No more excuses. No more putting things off. By this time next year, I would like to be able to say I came through for myself.

Here’s to making 2016 an even better year, one day at a time!